It’s the Process not the Outcome
Long before I got into coaching and was hooked by the life-affirming, transformative benefits of taking time to ask insightful questions, I was a fan of the process rather than the outcome. As I trained and developed as a coach – both witnessing how others are motivated and seeing it in myself – I became convinced of the benefits of focusing on the process of decision-making in order to secure a more aligned and satisfying outcome.
So in order to make a confident decision, it’s about trusting the process behind your choices, rather than attempting at all costs not to make a mistake with the outcome. The process will include your values, emotions, and priorities.
- Your Values
- Your values are the inner compass that guides wise decisions.
- When your choices reflect what truly matters to you, you feel settled and strong.
- Conflict and self‑doubt often appear when you act against your own principles.
- Confidence comes when you can say, “This aligns with who I am.”
- Your Emotions
- Emotions carry information—don’t ignore them.
- We all have a certain amount of anxiety as the future is uncertain. However, when anxiety signals are loud, it signals a lack of alignment.
- Journaling or talking through your emotions can reveal hidden motives or fears.
- When head and heart agree, decisions will feel more clear and authentic.
- Your Priorities
- Not all options are equally important. Confidence grows when you know what matters most to you.
- Ask yourself:
- “Which choice supports my long‑term goals?”
- “Which path brings me closer to what is important to me?”
- Knowing your priorities guides you towards intentional neglect instead of second-guessing and struggling with regret.
- For example, choosing between job stability and creative freedom becomes easier when you clarify which of these values carries more weight.
- Build a Supportive Environment
- Even the best decisions can feel shaky in isolation. Surround yourself with people who encourage growth and honesty.
- Talk your ideas through with trusted mentors, friends, or advisers.
- Seek support to talk through your values, emotions and priorities.
- Your confidence expands when your environment reinforces reflection on who you are and what you really want.
- Get Enough Information
- You don’t need every detail—just enough to make an informed decision.
- Gather facts, weigh options, and look for patterns or evidence that matter.
- Growth in knowledge surrounding your decision will reduce your anxiety because you know what influences your choice.
- When your choices reflect who you are, what you care about, and where you’re headed, you self‑trust will grow.
Moving through these steps – Values, Emotions, Priorities, Support and Information – will naturally carry you to a stronger outcome. In order to further strengthen your desired outcome, consider the following as part of the process too.
- Your Desired Outcome
- Ask yourself – what does success look like for this decision?
- Build a picture for yourself of the benefits of the outcome you desire. This will strengthen your motivation to achieve it.
- When you focus on what you fear you will feel doubt. When you chase what you actually want (not try to avoid what you fear) your direction will take shape.
Over time, each aligned decision strengthens the belief that you can handle whatever comes next.
Transformational Questions:
- Write down your top five values (e.g., integrity, compassion, growth). Use them as filters for every major choice.
- What is this feeling revealing to me about my decision process?
- What are my priorities in this particular decision?
- What one person can I approach to help me?
My Standing at the Crossroads coaching package provides the opportunity for you to take time to discover elements of change and transition and recognise hurdles to your destination. I offer the support and framework you need to consider all aspects of a decision resulting in clarity and confidence. Crossroads Coaching brings your unique path into focus and raise your confidence in the choices you make. Do reach out to me so I can join you on your journey.
If you have found benefit from reading this, please share with your friends and network.
If you would like to explore this further in a coaching context please contact Anna at digdeepdreambig@gmail.com
