What do I bring to the journey?
Before setting off down a particular path it is essential that we consider what kind of traveller we are. What we enjoy, what we are good at, what needs we have, what personality and experience we have and the values we hold will all affect the choices we make and the direction we take. It is also necessary to point out that many of us make choices based on negative experiences, pain we want to avoid, fear-based self-protection and people-pleasing. Focusing just on the positive aspects we bring to the journey will affect our direction and destination more than putting our energy into trying to avoid the ‘wrong path’.
There are two aspects to reflect on and prepare for that will significantly change both the direction of travel and the quality of the journey.
The first aspect is our own needs. What landscape do I want to travel in? What brings me joy? What brings fulfilment?
And the second aspect is our gift to others. What do I offer to others? How best will I contribute to the experience with others? What are my skills and expertise?
Our physical and emotional needs must be met in order for us to thrive on the journey and to go the long haul. Equally important to consider to our own needs is the needs of our journey companions and those who will meet along the way. In fact, it is a human need to want to contribute. Like a lake without an outlet becomes stagnant, so does a life without generosity or service. It is good for us. So we begin to realise that our own needs and the needs of others are bound together.
It is another of life’s paradoxes that in asking the question, ‘Do I matter?’ we must focus our attention on what matters to us. In other words – What am I passionate about? How do I want to make a difference? How can I contribute my interests and talents? When we look outside of ourselves and we choose to serve our fellow travellers, we discover a path of joy and fulfilment in surprising ways. We discover that our significance is in the serving.
As we stand at the crossroads, our inspiration to move forward along a chosen path will come from understanding that we contribute something of significance that aligns with our values. So as we stand and consider how we want to be significant, it will be in finding our purpose or calling that will direct us to the difference we make by the contribution we offer. In other words, the pause that is created at a crossroads in life is an opportunity for us to consider what really matters to us.
We may also discover that the process of considering our contribution brings a certain amount of pain. There is a smorgasbord of options out there in the world. It can be a confusing place clamouring for a wide variety of contributions. Choice paralysis is a modern phenomenon. But it can be helped by understanding who we are, what we want and what we are good at. Taking time to deeply consider this will set us on the path of contribution that brings both peace and fulfilment to us and makes a difference to others.
When you dig deep to find your authentic core, your values are confirmed, your vision is crystallised and your dream is catalysed.
How is this all connected to coaching? Coaching brings permission to spend time on yourself. It takes time to dig deep. Just as it takes time to plan for and prepare for a significant trip. There is no more significant journey than that of our lives. Are you spending the time to consider who you authentically are? And what you really want to achieve? And how you especially want to make a difference?
A recent client said that the difference coaching has made in her life is that she was spending time considering herself and her needs for a change. This is not self-indulgent. This is essential. We can only care for others when we care for ourselves. And we can only give away to others what we have already received ourselves.
My Standing at the Crossroads package provides the opportunity for you to take time to discover your values, needs and contribution. We explore identity, decision making and hurdles to your destination which will bring your unique path into focus and raise your confidence in the choices you make. Do reach out to me so I can join you on your journey.
If you have found benefit from reading this, please share with your friends and network.
Transformational Questions:
· What lights me up?
· What do people say that I am good at?
· What impact do I want to make?
· In what ways can I serve others?
· What action step can I take today to make a difference?
If you would like to explore this further in a coaching context please contact Anna at digdeepdreambig@gmail.com
