Building Awareness for Better Decisions
Having looked at what can keep us stuck at the crossroads of decision – fear of the unknown, discomfort with uncertainty and not knowing what we truly want – let’s continue with exploring how to avoid making a bad decision.
Human beings particularly enjoy short term gains. This is due to a combination of evolutionary, psychological, and neurological factors. For decision making, this deep and sub-conscious preference can be disastrous. We are hard-wired to prefer immediate gratification. This has served us well when we needed to find food when it was not scarce, or take quick action when faced with immediate threats. In the past, this preference for short-term gains was advantageous, as it helped ensure survival in unpredictable environments.
Even if our environment has changed and immediate threats are not of the sabre-tooth tiger kind, our neurological mechanisms – the dopamine and limbic systems – still function to protect us from threat and lead us towards pleasure. So we make decisions based on perceived threats which produces the same fight, flight or freeze response as an actual threat. Our bodies produce the same hormones and we feel frightened of the perceived consequences of making a decision. So of course, what do we do? Run or hide.
On top of our brain’s impulses to protect us from harm, our modern environment offers quick-fix solutions for almost everything, making it easier to give in to instant temptations.
- Short term gain of the elegant new handbag that make me feel happy – long term financial difficulties due to emotional spending.
- Short term gain of choosing convenient fast food options – long term health issues due to poor diet.
- Short term gain of avoiding judgement and criticism (perceived?) through the self-protection mechanism of procrastination – long term reduced productivity and lower self-esteem.
This all sounds as easy as pushing treacle uphill and you may wonder why I paint a bleak picture of our bodies seemingly working against us to make a good decision. Coaching determines that growing awareness is a critical tool in our moving forward and making positive decisions. It is vital to be aware of our human propensity to be innately prone to the short-term gains of decision making. With this in mind, we can observe the values and needs in our decision making, acknowledging where we can stretch beyond satisfying our short term pleasure goals because we’re aware of potential negative consequences.
It’s important to recognize that developing the skill of delayed gratification will lead to greater long-term rewards and overall life satisfaction. We may not benefit from our wise decisions immediately. The decision to start exercise is not immediately rewarded with a lean and strong physique. However, the decision to “just grab another chocolate bar to keep going” is rewarded with immediate delicious taste and energy burst. It is only after several repetitions of a good habit that we begin to be rewarded with the mid-term gains. It is between the start of setting out on a new path and the benefits of choosing that path becoming real and practical, that we are vulnerable to giving up and ‘choosing the path of least resistance,’ or in other words we never reach the mid-term benefits and so we declare that the new habit is pointless and too much effort for no rewards. I wonder how close we might have been to feeling the difference?
When standing at the crossroads, ask yourself the transformational questions at the end of this blog to lean into the understanding of your deeper motivation, protection mechanisms and to strengthen your long-term gains muscle.
Coaching offers the choice to embrace the opportunity to discover more about ourselves and how we can respond to our fears or limiting beliefs. Blindspots can be discovered. Biases challenged. Support and encouragement offered. We can reflect on what is keeping us stuck and move forward with more assurance of a good decision.
I will spend the next few months on my ‘Standing at the Crossroads’ blog looking at the past, present and future aspects of a good decision.
My Standing at the Crossroads coaching package provides the opportunity for you to take time to discover elements of good decision making and recognise hurdles to your destination. Coaching can bring your unique path into focus and raise your confidence in the choices you make. Do reach out to me so I can join you on your journey.
If you have found benefit from reading this, please share with your friends and network.
Transformational Questions:
- What do you really want?
- What are the perceived threats holding you back?
- What brings you comfort?
- What brings you a sense of achievement?
- What one step can you take to build your long-term gains muscle?
If you would like to explore this further in a coaching context please contact Anna at digdeepdreambig@gmail.com
