Energy for the Journey
The start of the New Year offers the invitation of a fresh, un-walked path as we look ahead. Perhaps your path includes what changes you would like to make, a new project to tackle, or consider a new goal to accomplish. If you are anything like me though, the gap between reality and the desired outcome can seem to loom rather large.
I still love the feeling of opening a new notebook and pausing for a moment to enjoy the clean page. I think it is the promise of what is not yet, the anticipation of what could be that I like to savour. The page is blank, and therefore the possibilities of how it might be filled are endless. Perhaps it is the same with our lives. For as long as we do not put pen to paper and for as long as we do not take the step which commits us to a certain path, we maintain the promise of what might be in our imaginations and at our fingertips. So let’s launch ourselves unfettered and fearless into the fresh crispness of the new page, eager to make our mark and let our voice be heard! Let’s run with abandon down the path that’s beckoning with arms and legs wide and free…
Hmm…not really. Why do we so often stumble at this point and become stuck at this stage? The stage of the blank page or the untrodden path. I have been thinking about writing this for the last 5 or 6 days and only now am beginning to get the words down. Yes, I have been procrastinating. I have given myself a deadline. I am an organised person with clear understanding of my goals and the reason for writing. Yet, I find other little jobs to do. Why do images of what might go wrong or reasons to put it off comes to mind more readily?
It is connected to the motivation we bring to the journey. As we stand at the crossroads, we have reasons why we want to continue. Those reasons are the motivation to approach. What motivates us is the energy that propels us on our chosen path. We also bring energy that causes us to stand at the crossroads and avoid. This is the motivation that causes us to hesitate, become distracted and to stay still. So we have reasons why we want to walk. And we have reasons why we don’t want to walk. Both are compelling. Both are legitimate. And it is vital that as we come to the new path we gain awareness of the two. Reflect on your reasons why you want to complete the project. Reflect on your reasons why you don’t want to start. Chances are it’s self-protection. Procrastination involves ‘avoid’ motives which are usually self-protective and beneficial in other ways.
Ease of the Journey
We all have a need to be seen as competent. We want to handle the new path with ease and to be seen as accomplished and competent. Procrastination is a form of self-protection because if we delay beginning; we also delay the perceived failure or judgement of others. We approach a project with hesitation and then don’t get going on it because we want to get it right. Perfectionism is the precursor to procrastination. We trip ourselves up when we rely too much on external feedback to build up our self-esteem.
I actually find it quite liberating as a life-long procrastinator to discover that there is a logical and sensible reason to putting things off. If I don’t start then I won’t fail! This is my motivation to remain still. I tend to procrastinate towards a project that I think I’m not skilled at, or I don’t feel confident or knowledgeable about. Thinking ahead to it brings feelings of discomfort and expectations of judgement from others – especially people who I perceive are more capable than me.
So procrastination is the self-protective mechanism to avoid failure – but at the expense of other self-damaging behaviours. We sometimes sacrifice other needs to meet the need to feel competent. I am safe. I don’t make a mistake. I don’t appear incompetent. Yet, I don’t progress. Stagnating does not bring joy. The longer we don’t take a step, the longer we wrestle with the negative feelings associated with possible outcomes. In employing the avoidance tactics of procrastination, we might kid ourselves that we are ‘resting’ or ‘doing something else useful’ but deep down I feel unsettled about my hesitancy to get going on my goal. There is a boost of self-esteem when we have integrity between what we say we will do and what we actually do. Procrastination eats away at self-esteem because we feel we cannot ‘just do what we know we should’.
How do we become unstuck? Our vision of what could be must become stronger than our fear of failure. In order to do this, concentrate on the ‘approach’ motives. What are the benefits of starting the project? What do I lose if I don’t move forward?
Coaching demonstrates the huge benefits of breaking down a task and taking it step by little step. I have recently become aware that as I look down the beautiful path ahead, the vision of the possible is now stronger than how I have perceived the previous path – or specifically, how I have thought others have perceived my path.
And what is so wrong about coming to a new project not feeling as capable as usual? Part of reducing procrastination is to live for the joy of the journey and not the applause of the crowd. The reward is in the approach, break it down to small, manageable steps, think about the strengths you bring to a new venture, ask for help, take a step, develop a growth mind-set and learn to find satisfaction in discovery not unrealistic perfection.
And as I read recently, the reality is often so much better than what we imagine – “For weeks, I have been lying awake at night, worrying about my to-do list and thinking about one particular thing. Today I decided to tackle it and it took me 6 minutes.”
If you would like to explore this further in a coaching context please contact Anna at digdeepdreambig@gmail.com
