Face values

Imagine the scenario where you have some free time and some money to spend. What do you choose to do? Skydive or gardening? Museum or pottery class? Gather with friends or read a good book alone? What is actually behind our choices? How we spend our time is not just about preferences, or opportunities but of values – what is truly important to us.  

Firstly, values are what gives meaning to our lives – the quality of our experiences, what we give time to and what we prioritise. Put simply, we want to spend our finite and precious time on what is important to us.

Secondly, values determine how I walk on my journey, what I take and what I consider a meaningful destination. For example, if I value connection, my journey will involve companions whose company I enjoy to a place I will love. If I value making memories I might take a camera. And then I will display photos to keep the memories alive. If I value kindness I may bring along gifts for my companions. I will value the interaction and appreciation of the difference those gifts bring.

Understanding what is most important to us is the first step in making choices that are aligned with what we truly want. When we face our values we can understand more about the process of how to make good decisions. Becoming aware of what is important to us it gives us more agency over our choices. I no longer choose based on what I want to avoid due to fear, but I choose based on my life values. That is integrity.

To make a good and authentic choice – understand what is important, why it is important and how that makes the difference to life. For example, a skydiver may value adventure, pushing the limits of experience and overcoming fear. The gardener may value creating beauty, watching the processes of the natural world and the peace and quiet of solitude.

Our habits, actions and behaviour will give us clues as to what our values are. What do I work at? I put effort into tasks that I prioritise. When we are engaged in activities that are not our priority or that do not lead to something of value to us, our energy is gradually drained. Our emotions will tell us when our values are trodden on. Frustration, anger or sadness may indicate that we are no longer living according to our values. A great coach asks questions to discover the client’s values and then leads them to takes steps to live in greater congruence with their values. It is so key to discover our values and live by them with intention and clarity because otherwise we are pulled in many directions, living with confusion and lack of focus.

Focus brings energy. Energy drives us forwards to success and achievement. Values bring the necessary focus, making decisions more effective. Values bring clear intention, leading to saving time and energy. Values highlight meaning and purpose, raising our motivation. In other words when you know what you want to do, why you want to do it and how you do it, you massively increase the chances of actually doing it!

Without the harnessed energy of activated values a vision remains a dream. A great coach reveals the values that bring the client energy for the journey, so that they can confidently move towards their goal. Harnessing this energy involves spending the necessary time first to explore values, understand motivation, drill down to the core focus and seek constant alignment with actions and reasons. Your potential is increased when time is given to activities more likely to succeed. These activities are value-based and driven by the energy harnessed by living intentionally.

The key is to act from the focus of clear priorities.

What are the benefits of coaching connected to this? Giving yourself the space to discover your values and priorities. We often struggle to make decisions because we don’t have the clarity to understand what we are basing those decisions on. Making choices does get easier when we more deeply understand ourselves and how we find meaning.

My Standing at the Crossroads package provides the opportunity for you to spend one whole session exploring your values. This will equip you to have more confidence and clarity in what you actually want.  Do you want to live more effectively because certain decisions become clearer and easier? Do reach out to me so I can join you on your journey.

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Transformational Questions:

·      What do you want people to say they admire about you?

·      What do you find yourself dreaming about?

·      What three words describe your life priorities?

·      In what ways is your current job in alignment with your values?

·      What one thing would you like to change in your life to move closer to what you truly value?

If you would like to explore this further in a coaching context please contact Anna at digdeepdreambig@gmail.com